The Gum Under The Desk: More Poetry By Mr. Cheeseburger

Under the desk
There is some gum
How gross!

I don't want to touch it
I would freak out
How nasty!

The gum is pink
It looks like a brain
Ewwwww!

If I would touch the gum
I would develop Barfarosis
I wouldn't like that.

Fin

What Up

Yo,
This is Milkshake. In my post I'll talk about what?
Politics?
Faith?
Missed spelled words?
People who piss everyone off?
Or what ever flows unto the key board.
Comment on what you want first.

What To Do If Your Computer Is Slow

Lately, I have heard a lot from people about their computer being slow. For example, I say: "Hey, did you watch that video yet?" and the reply is usually: "No. My computer is really slow". So to help everyone out there who has slow computer syndrome, I decided to share with you the secret that all of us fast computer users keep from the rest of the world. You see, when computers are slow, it is not because of some software error or hardware malfunction, it is because the computer wants to be slow. Computers are naturally lazy. They don't want to help you watch a video. Nothing motivates computers because there is nothing that they can enjoy. They can't enjoy chocolate, rainbows, the sound of rain, the screams of a man in pain, or the smell of freshly baked pie. So you have to motivate them by other means. Whenever my computer acts up, I slap it in the face and tell it to hurry up. Honestly. I don't use any finally fast dot com or anything. I tell that computer to hurry up or it'll be thejunkyard for him. Works every time. You should try it. Sometimes different things work with different computers, so be sure to experiment. Good luck, and have fun with your newly motivated computer! 

Now Presenting...

The 10 Weapons That Would Have Been Awesome In "Clue"

1) Flamethrower 2) Anvil 3) Toilet Seat 4) Chuck Norris 5) 16 Ton Weight 6) Bazooka 7) Butter Knife 8) Piano 9) Slinky 10)Thermonuclear Warhead

Peeps Overload!

Whoa. I never thought this would happen, but it did. I actually ate so many Peeps that I threw up. And it was all tie-dye and everything, too. I'm sorry. I probably grossed you out. We'll put that behind us and ask the all important question: How many Peeps can the body handle? I mean, being a cheeseburger and all makes my body a little bit different and Peep consumption probably does different things to me than it does to you. I researched this a little bit more, and I found out that the most Peeps eaten in 30 second is only seven. Seven. Thats sad. Maybe I should beat the world record on that. I bet I could eat at least seven and a half. Would that be sufficient? I don't know the judging process on world records. Anyways, the whole point of this post was that I was wondering how many Peeps you could eat before spilling your stomach's contents all over the Easter dinner. That would be nasty. That happened to me once. My whole family was over and I had a Peeps eating contest with my brother. I won, but winning has it's downsides too. Aunt Irene was putting all of the food on the table and after she was done, everyone started praying and it just sort of happened. It had some velocity behind it too because it not only flew all over the table, it hit the back wall of the dining room. Seriously. It ruined Easter for the next four years. Oh well. Happy Easter everyone!